31/07/20: Sarah Waters – The Little Stranger (2009)


This 500-page novel, shortlisted for the 2009 Booker Prize, initially frustrated me. I don’t like to give up on books, but for 200 pages I found it fairly uninvolving. A couple of times I nearly hurled it across the room. Only as I approached the halfway mark did it begin to come alive and hook me in.

The story deals with a country doctor becoming involved with the Ayres family (a mother, her son Roddy and her daughter Caroline) and the fading Warwickshire stately home in which they live. It pretty soon becomes apparent that supernatural forces permeate the house and influence events there – with tragic consequences – but the doctor refuses to accept this possibility and attributes everything to mental delusion. His relationship with the house and family is further complicated when he falls in love with Caroline Ayres.

The supernatural material is handled expertly and with real subtlety. Allowing everything to be explained away, the author enables her narrator to doubt the very events he is observing. But it is infuriating to only see the world through his dull, unimaginative eyes. He’s a stuffy, rigid character, and while the story clearly needs his scepticism, his inflexible worldview does make for a less interesting authorial voice. He’s also there to draw out the theme of class inequality. His attraction to the family is ambiguously tied up with his own social aspirations.

By the end of the book, the slow pace has become transfixing. You know that more bad things are going to happen and sure enough they do.

15/06/20: Luke Haines – Post Everything: Outsider Rock and Roll 1997–2005 (2011)


A sequel to Bad Vibes: Britpop and My Part in Its Downfall (2009), this second volume of Luke Haines’ recollections covers Black Box Recorder, the final demise of The Auteurs and the start of Haines’ eccentric solo career.

It's even more whimsical than the first volume, diversifying into “conversations” with a cat and various dead rappers. These flights of fancy – not usually my kind of thing – work surprisingly well.

As his career strays further from the mainstream, there’s less of the anecdotal wit and satire about fellow bands. However, he does detail a run-in with Chrissie Hynde and his first Top of the Pops appearance. You also get to hear of his plans for a “Pop Strike”, which pre-dated Bill Drummond’s No-Music Day.

Highly recommended. I'm hoping he will write a third volume covering 2006–2020.

26/05/20: Luke Haines – Bad Vibes: Britpop and My Part in Its Downfall (2009)


“I am none of the following, but have been described variously as: the pioneer of, the godfather of, the man who invented, the butcher of, and the forgotten man of Britpop (1990s version). Let’s not get too bogged down in tracing the lineage any further back. It’s never cost-effective and always leads back to a caveman banging a rock with the tusk of a woolly mammoth.”

Luke Haines was never really a part of Britpop. The Auteurs were a band on the outskirts of that scene, who predated most of the nonsense associated with those acts. He’s a brilliantly acerbic, extremely witty narrator (I read both of his books twice) and most of what he has to say about his contemporaries is not very complimentary:

“The full idiocy of the era has yet to be felt. But I already loathe the brashness, the vicars-and-tarts-forced-jollity of the Blur–Elastica alliance. The head boy and head girl appear to be doing rather well for themselves. I had more of a Carrie-style ending in mind for the nauseating couple.”

He reserves particular dislike for Suede. “The Auteurs are European, intense and intellectual,” he states. “Suede are a quick fix. Baked beans and sulphate. Brett’s pseudo-bumboy androgyny is more Grange Hill than Bowie.” He keeps coming back to them, too: “I’ve heard their single and I know I can outwrite them. Brett’s got a few good lines and knows there’s a bit of mileage to be had in writing lyrics about ‘retards’ and ‘dads’, but overall they’re just a little too reliant on the old wasted-glamour-in-council-estates routine.” He also has a bash at The The, who he toured and fell out with.

Haines depicts the rise and fall of The Auteurs, not shying away from his own self-destructive role in their ups and downs. By the sounds of it, they were never a “proper” band in the old-fashioned “gang of mates against the world” sense of the word. The bassist was his girlfriend and the cellist irritated Haines so much that he refuses to call him anything other than “The Cellist” throughout the text.

The book concludes with a happy ending of sorts – the formation of a second group, Black Box Recorder.

A savage satire on 1990s culture, Bad Vibes is hugely entertaining.

13/05/20: Dean Karnazes – Ultramarathon Man: Confessions of an All-Night Runner (2005)


“Just as a race-car driver pushes his vehicle to the limit, or a pilot tests the ‘edge’ in an experimental plane, I wanted to see how far I could go. What I now realize is that the way other people seek physical comfort and blissful well-being, I seek extremes. Why run 10 miles when you can run 100? Moderation bores me.”

Dean Karnazes lives for running. He can run for days. He eats while running, and organises pizza deliveries along the route. He has fallen asleep while running. He even dictated this book while running. He ran in Death Valley, where it was so hot that his trainers started melting.

I really enjoyed his account of his obsession.

04/03/20: Joan Lindsay – Picnic at Hanging Rock (1967)


A masterpiece. On Valentine’s Day, 1900, the girls from an Australian boarding school go on a day trip to the ominous Hanging Rock – a notable geographical feature. It soon becomes clear that there’s an essential wrongness about the place. Clocks stop at midday and, amid the sweltering heat, the girls – in a state of “exquisite languor” – enter a kind of disorientated enchantment. Seemingly bewitched and in a trance, three of them (and one of their teachers) disappear.

They return to the school as early in the narrative as page 36. The remainder of the book deals with the various investigations and the aftermath as the events of 14th February cast a malignant shadow over the lives of many people.

It works on multiple levels. It’s a supernatural thriller but also a historical drama that examines class division, female repression and sexuality, and social control.

Peter Weir’s 1975 film, also highly recommended, is shot in a way that really captures that sense of dazed, ethereal bewitchment. Its utterly haunting image of the girls in their white dresses – walking, somehow mesmerised, towards a fate that is brilliantly never explained – has stayed with me ever since.

In 1987, an additional final chapter of the book was published after the author’s death as a standalone book. Titled The Secret of Hanging Rock, it unwisely “explained” the mystery of the disappearances with reference to possibly supernatural events and the Aboriginal concept of dream-time. But other theories suggest that there is no evidence that Joan Lindsay actually wrote this chapter, which differs so much stylistically from the rest. The purpose of the novel, for this reader, is to set up an uncanny mystery (like all the most terrifying stories, it understands that the less you explain the more scary it becomes), and it would have been a far lesser book if that mystery were simply unravelled at the end. Indeed, Lindsay herself told an interviewer: “Well, it was written as a mystery and it remains a mystery. If you can draw your own conclusions, that's fine, but I don't think that it matters. I wrote that book as a sort of atmosphere of a place, and it was like dropping a stone into the water. I felt that story, if you call it a story – that the thing that happened on St. Valentine's Day went on spreading, out and out and out, in circles.”

25/02/20: Bernard MacLaverty – Midwinter Break (2017)


The slow-motion disintegration of a marriage. He drinks too much. She seeks spiritual enlightenment. A retired couple, they are in Amsterdam for a brief holiday, but their problems and their differences are only magnified by the change of routine.

MacLaverty is brilliant on the minutiae of life, and how these details reveal bigger truths about the two characters.

It’s also a book about the uncertainties of growing older.

30/01/20: Neal Stephenson – Seveneves (2015)


“But this was how the mind worked. The mind couldn’t think about the End of the World all the time. It needed the occasional break, a romp through the trivial. Because it was through trivia that the mind was anchored in reality, as the largest oak tree was rooted, ultimately, in a system of rootlets no larger than the silver hairs on the president’s head.”

For reasons never fully explained, the Moon is destroyed. The shattered pieces of rock threaten to rain down on Earth, killing everyone. Humanity has approximately two years to build a “Cloud Ark” (a collection of spaceships able to group and swarm around the International Space Station) in order to save the species. But of course it’s not that simple...

Neal Stephenson explores this brilliant “what if?” scenario across a huge novel of 867 pages. The best passages deal with the creation of the new, improvised orbital world before – inevitably – politics begin to threaten the idealism of its social structure. The level of technical and procedural detail he packs in is fascinating and I found myself wanting this part of the book to be even longer than it was, because its encyclopaedic reach is so powerful.

He has fun with specialist terminology, jargon, acronyms and so on, such as:
• BFR = Bolide Fragmentation Rate
• CAC = Cloud Ark Constitution
• Flivver = Flexible Light Intracloud Vehicle
• HGA = Human Genetic Archive
• MIV = Modular Improvised Vehicle
• PSAPS = Periods of Simplified Administrative Procedures and Structures

It might annoy some readers but I really like the way he explains the science as he goes along.

The author is also good on the nature of power/authority and what social rules mean without Earth’s laws and structures to maintain them. The US President is a major character and significantly influences the way events unfold.

Stephenson wasn’t particularly strong on the emotional aspects of the story. In some ways this worked: astronauts building a brave new civilisation cannot be sentimental. But in another sense, the death of planet Earth and everything we have ever known or loved seems like it should’ve been a bigger deal than that experienced by the few survivors.

Either way, It’s an exciting read – not least because it seems so plausible. Stephenson explained in interviews that he didn’t want fictional get-out clauses (such as the hyperdrives of Star Wars or the teleports of Star Trek). Instead, pretty much everything in the book feels like it follows known scientific laws. This makes it a lot easier to relate to and a lot more believable.

Following an awkward cut-off scene (it seems that the author didn’t know how to resolve the story), the final third of the book is set 5,000 years later. This, inevitably, feels like a different novel entirely, even though the human society it depicts is very clearly derived from the survivors of the first two thirds. We are told that there are now 3 billion humans, so the “will they?”/“won’t they?” survival story of the earlier sections is completely deflated, replaced with an exploration of what survival was like and what happened next. This section is hardly edge-of-the-seat stuff and arguably didn’t need to be written. I would have far preferred a brief postscript set 300 or 500 years later letting you know how the handful of survivors were getting on.

Despite – or because of – the endless descriptions, I found it impossible to visualise the structures of the Eye, the Habitat Ring, the Great Chain and the Cradle. Sometimes, in this section of the book, the passages become dense and turgid as layer upon layer of detail is accumulated. This is ironic as it was precisely that obsessive detail that made the earlier sections so enjoyable. Here’s one example:

If you took a large number of Flynks – flying, autonomous chain links—and joined them together into a long chain, and connected its ends to make it into a continuous loop, and then got the whole loop moving through the air like a train composed of little airplanes, each using its stubby winglets to generate its share of the lift, then you had a thing known as an “aitrain,” pronounced the way a resident of Old New York would have said “A train.” The concept was old enough that its etymology had been obscured by time. It might have been “air train” with the first r elided, or a contraction of “Aitken train.” Sometimes, as here, it was a captive aitrain, passing continuously through a fixed installation on the ground and rising from there to a considerable altitude before reversing direction and plunging back down for another circuit. But aitrains could also fly freely in the air: a technology crazy enough that it had become associated with the Aidan big-brains known as Jinns, or Ghenis, and tended to be used only by Red.

There are other flaws with this final section. The notion that the human population divides neatly into seven distinct races descended from the original “seven Eves” is hard to believe. Even more improbable is the discovery that humans survived on Earth after all and that their leader was none other than Ralph McQuarie, father of the “Eve” named Dinah. Another survivor was the submarine-inhabiting fiancé of the Eve named Ivy. What are the chances? By this point I was ready to hurl the book across the room. Also, the potentially interesting notion of “epigenic” shifts amounts to nothing when Kath Two transitions into Kath Three (Kathree), with no bearing on the plot at all. And the end just fizzles out completely.

It’s simply not convincing, which is a real shame and also infuriating because there are dazzling passages in the earlier stages of the novel as compelling as any sci-fi I have read.

02/01/20: Lawrence Block – The Thief Who Couldn’t Sleep (1966)

Slightly underwhelming thriller about a man’s quest to retrieve a stash of hidden gold. Evan Michael Tanner travels through many countries and encounters many characters, even getting mixed up in a revolution in Macedonia.

It’s fast-paced and fun, but unusually “thin” on tension and credibility for Lawrence Block. I was left unsatisfied and happy to make it to the end.

The character’s most remarkable feature – the fact that he “hasn’t slept a wink since a piece of shrapnel destroyed the sleep centre in his brain during the Korean War” – is oddly underplayed.

The cover image of a sexy girl leaning on an American car has absolutely nothing to do with the story.

03/12/19: Steve Toltz – Quicksand (2015)


“Humanity’s common goal is to die with dignity and dignified in that context is defined as dying in our own beds, but what if you have a waterbed or Spider-Man bedsheets? What’s dignified about that?”

In some ways Steve Tolz’s second novel is very much like his first, A Fraction of a Whole, in that one unusual Australian writes about another, amassing endless detail about an eccentric character. But this book goes even deeper into the mysteries of existence and is an even richer read.

“I don’t know anything other than that the greatest misconception about the apocalypse is that it is a sudden, brief event. It is not. It is slow. Grindingly slow. It goes for generations.

I can’t quite put my finger on it, Lord, can I borrow Yours? The log-sized one from the Sistine Chapel? Am I insane? Has the pain rewired my brain? Human endurance is absurd. It can take ANYTHING. You know this. Can’t there please be a point where once a person has reached a maximum of suffering they just explode?”

Like Kurt Vonnegut, Tolz is endlessly witty and compassionate. He observes the human condition with philosophical insight and warm humour. The plot is fairly convoluted, but at its heart it sees narrator and cop Liam Wilder building a complex, multi-faceted written portrait of Aldo Benjamin – a disaster-prone paralysed visionary who happens to be his best friend. Liam documents Aldo’s steady decline through endless misfortunes including spells in hospital and prison. He does this with compassion and the blackest humour possible. The book takes you to some disturbing places indeed, but the dazzling use of language is such that you are transfixed as seemingly absurd characters become more and more real before your eyes.

It’s very funny and very sad – certainly a book to read more than once.

It’s also full of remarkable aphorisms, wordplay and clever quips. The book repeatedly quotes from Liam and Aldo’s art teacher, Mr. Morrell, a recurring character in the novel whose book on art is filled with astonishing, pithy truths about the nature of art, reality and existence. You find yourself wanting to read that book too.

08/11/19: John O’Farrell – Things Can Only Get Better: Eighteen Miserable Years in the Life of a Labour Supporter 1979–1997 (1998)


“Only in Britain are people criticised for attempting to make something ‘a political issue’, when surely everything is a political issue.”

Witty and self-deprecating account of supporting the Labour party when they were at their lowest ebb. It certainly resonates with recent events, as Labour once again appear to have hit rock bottom.

O’Farrell worked as a researcher for an MP and as a press officer for a councillor. Later he wrote satirical and topical jokes and sketches for Spitting Image and Clive Anderson. It’s a genuinely funny memoir.

“I am just someone who feels very strongly that people should take part in every election: European elections, council by-elections – part of me even feels compelled to take part in the Stars in Their Eyes phone vote just because I have a right to do so.”

You feel his pain and he suffers endless Labour defeats and set-backs. The book ends on a note of total euphoria with the Labour landslide of 1st May 1997 and the beginning of the Tony Blair era. With hindsight that wouldn’t be quite the golden era it promised, but the author didn’t know that yet...

26/09/19: Christopher McDougall – Born to Run: The Hidden Tribe, the Ultra-Runners and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen (2009)


Brilliantly uncategorisable book about ultrarunning, the Tarahumara people of Chihuahua, Mexico, and a 50-mile desert endurance race that the author himself takes part in.

It’s a rambling, restless narrative covering a lot of ground (literally!), but the writing is razor-sharp and very witty. As well as bring a vital work of ethnography, it’s an almost gonzo journalist account of being a runner that brings to life various colourful characters.

McDougall argues along the lines of the “endurance running hypothesis”, i.e., that humans developed the ability to run for long distances so that they could run down their prey.

Perhaps the most memorable part is chapter 25, in which he details how terrible trainers are for your feet. He investigates barefoot running and provides compelling evidence that trainers offer nothing whatsoever beyond protection from rough surfaces and the cold. In fact, he argues that modern running shoes are actively bad for us – denying the human foot its own evolutionary genius by ironically cushioning it into experiencing even more impact. And therefore making us run unnaturally and harmfully. This, he claims, means that the more “hi-tech” the trainer, the more likely we are to be injured. His argument is backed up with a lot of respectable research and suggests the world is being sold a lie about running shoes.

Born to Run is highly recommended – entertaining, funny and informative. Worth a read, whether or not you yourself run.

08/09/19: Lawrence Block – A Stab in the Dark (1981)


Matt Scudder is a troubled ex-cop with a drink problem. He’s hired to find out more about a murder that took place nine years ago, previously thought to have been the work of the “ice-pick killer” but now suspected to be from a different killer entirely, despite similarities in the crime.

The novel is well-plotted, but the character development gripped me far more that the investigation trail and the whodunnit aspects. Scudder’s losing battle with drink makes for fascinating reading, as does his new relationship with fellow boozer Jan.

This is the fourth novel in the Scudder series. (I also have the fifth and sixth included in the same anthology, which I bought in a St. Andrews charity shop in August.)

15/08/19: Haruki Murakami – What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (2007)


Gently philosophical meditations on being a runner and a writer.

Murakami listens to the Lovin’ Spoonful and ponders the meaning of tackling marathons and triathlons as he grows older.

I found the following passage the most interesting:

“I’m often asked what I think about as I run. Usually the people who ask this have never run long distances themselves. I always ponder the question. What exactly do I think about when I’m running? I don’t have a clue.

On cold days I guess I think a little about how cold it is. And about the heat on hot days. When I’m sad I think a little about sadness. When I’m happy I think a little about happiness. As I mentioned before, random memories come to me too. And occasionally, hardly ever, really, I get an idea to use in a novel. But really as I run, I don’t think much of anything worth mentioning.

I just run. I run in a void. Or maybe I should put it the other way: I run in order to acquire a void. But as you might expect, an occasional thought will slip into this void. People’s minds can’t be a complete blank. Human beings’ emotions are not strong or consistent enough to sustain a vacuum. What I mean is, the kinds of thoughts and ideas that invade my emotions as I run remain subordinate to that void. Lacking content, they are just random thoughts that gather around that central void.”

08/08/19: David Thomas and Helen Krasner – Travels with Cookie: Narrowboat Cruising with a Cat (2014)


The author learns that he has terminal cancer and decides to fulfil his lifelong ambition to buy and live on a canal boat. He does this with Cookie, his large, fluffy, white cat.

During their four years afloat, David saves a woman stuck in the mud and meets a seal, while Cookie – perhaps not the brightest button in the box – falls in the water a few times. But otherwise, not a great deal happens beyond boating up and down England and Wales. This is no way prevents it being an enjoyable read.

I came to this book via its co-author, Helen Krasner, whose Midges, Maps & Muesli: An Account of a 5,000-Mile Walk Round the Coast of Britain I enjoyed recently. The story of how David meets and falls in love with Helen is touching. They end up living together (she has five cats of her own) and his health miraculously improves.

I would have liked a bit more Cookie and a little less boating, but it’s to the authors’ great credit that this doesn’t become yet another sentimental “me and my pet” memoir.

31/07/19: Gavin Boyter – Downhill from Here: Running from John O’Groats to Land’s End (2017)


“What better way to celebrate a country than by passing a continuous strip of it under your feet, literally feeling the entire terrain of a top-to-bottom treadmill composed of tarmac, earth, sand and grass?”

You can tell what this is about from the title. It’s the story of the run and also of the author’s attempts to make a film about the experience – a complicated project indeed. He secures the help of his father (who operates a drone to film aerial shots) and various drivers to meet him at the end of each day’s journey.

He gets lost a lot. He gets his film equipment stolen. He suffers various injuries. At times it’s a standard John O’Groats to Land’s End (JogLe) account, with moments of tedium and frustration.

Occasionally Gavin can sound oddly Alan Partridge-like:

“I often try a thought experiment, imagining what it would be like if I was ‘parachuted in’ to a random workplace and asked to muck in. I imagine myself in those factories, workshops and offices; I hope I’d be able to fit in amongst my fellow employees in these theoretical work placements. Such empathic daydreaming whiles away hours on an urban trail. Try it and you’ll see what I mean.”

See also the passage in which he writes:

“You can’t have your loft conversions, fridge-freezers, fork-lift trucks and basic, functional sanitation without a lot of heavy lifting behind the scenes.”

But maybe that’s harsh. He follows this latter observation with the wiser and more insightful: “We are drawn to watercourses because they seem to embody life, even when as comparatively still as a canal.”

He gets there in the end and his document of that experience is worth reading.

14/06/19: David Quantick – Go West (2018)


This short novel is an entertaining romp that deals with the world of forged antiques. The plot escalates into something fairly involved and ends excitingly. For me, though, the best sections are those in which the hero, Charlie Bread, drives west across Britain listening to tapes of John Peel radio shows with his glamorous new friend Penelope.

The most amusing moment is when he pretends to be tour guide and bluffs an entire bus tour of Exeter.

Go West is that rare thing: a road-movie-type narrative successfully set in the UK.

09/05/19: Steve Toltz – A Fraction of the Whole (2008)


A long (700-page), shaggy-dog story of a book that stretches from Australia to France to Thailand and back to Australia, this covers three generations of the Dean family, focusing on Terry (a vicious murderer), Martin (Terry’s genius-madman brother) and Jasper (Martin’s equally eccentric and rebellious son).

As with the work of Kurt Vonnegut, this is very funny and full of philosophical questioning and insight about life, love and religion – but in such a dry, self-deprecating manner that it never feels ponderous or remotely preachy. It’s also quite savage in its social satire. It’s a novel that praises individuality and rages against conformity.

There’s huge intelligence and wisdom at work that challenges lazy thinking. I wanted to copy out several passages because what they communicated was so profound. I also want to read it again.

10/04/19: Penelope Lively – Heat Wave (1996)


Middled-aged copy-editor Pauline was once cheated on by her husband. She now sees the same thing happening to her daughter.

This is a clever novel that weaves together a mother/and-daughter story, a saga of past and present relationships and a study of rural vs. urban living. It’s set in the English countryside and the nature around the characters is vividly brought into being as a metaphorical mirror of what is happening to them.

It's such a slow-burner that I was surprised when it concluded in a moment of sudden action, albeit a satisfying one.

05/04/19: Deborah Levy – Early Levy: Beautiful Mutants and Swallowing Geography (2014)


This is a bind-up of two short, early novels.

Beautiful Mutants (1989):

A bunch of seemingly unrelated characters often given nicknames (The Banker, The Anorexic Anarchist, The Innocents and so on) float through the narrative seemingly without purpose.

This is an unusual novel in that it seems so disjointed, with surreal and often violent episodes depicted in poetic language. The way the characters speak is completely unrealistic – and presumably intentionally so:

“This fish has the possessed eye of a poet and tastes just as useless. In fact it tastes like a melancholy misfit. I have always hated poetry, I prefer hard mathematics or even hard drugs. Do you really think that in consuming this pescado I would consume its ideas? I have spat them out again and again. And what is The Idea? That there are thirteen ways of looking at a blackbird? Give it to me, I’ll take it to the market and show you sixty ways of looking at it. Poets are fuckwits. They try and legislate with language but they don’t have the roubles to bribe. On my aunt’s salmon farm they stroke the belly of hen salmon to squeeze out their eggs for breeding. Well, I have squeezed you out too.”

Certainly no one speaks like this:

“I own a prestige apartment facing the sparkle of the river, with south-facing views, a private car park, porter, video security, entry phone, swimming pool and a sauna to nurture my health, which is after all my wealth. I am given all this for good reason. I am valued; I am an irresistible proposition to men in parliaments and tycoons on committees and entrepreneurs of all kinds; my condom case bulges with the promise of liaison and adventure. I am the new pioneer; the great adventure of my generation is to destabilize everything and everyone.”

I don’t think it’s meant to be realistic. It’s a novel of ideas, constructed out of experimental language, jamming in jarring images, phrases, situations and thoughts. But I found it too incoherent to get much out of it, which I accept may be my failing as a reader.

Swallowing Geography (1993):

The second novel is no more rewarding. J.K. (a reference to Jack Kerouac) travels through seemingly unrelated scenes and locations. Again, it’s very disjointed. If anything, it becomes even more abstract as it goes on. There are characters called B, H, X, Y and Z. Levy may be trying to deconstruct identity and reveal it to be fluid and ever-shifting. But once that point has been made, what of it?

Again the language is poetic and even beautiful, but the fragmentary conversations and observations don’t add up to a great deal.

I loved Swimming Home, The Cost of Living and Hot Milk, so found this very disappointing indeed.

01/04/19: Helen Krasner – Midges, Maps & Muesli: An Account of a 5,000-Mile Walk Round the Coast of Britain (1998)


“I wasn’t particularly interested in fulfilling an ambition, nor did I want the great feelings of achievement people thought I must be seeking – this just wasn’t the way I looked at walking, or indeed at life.”

In 1986, Helen Krasner became the first woman to walk around the coast of Britain. This is her tale. Rather than present a day-by-day account, she simply reports back on the interesting bits – a wise decision, as this makes for a far more compelling narrative. There’s a visit to Sellafield nuclear power station, where she commits the faux-pas of carrying a camera. She passes Paul McCartney’s farm at the Mull of Kintyre. And she looks for the monster at Loch Ness.

She is unpretentious and easy to like, with a relaxed view about the “rules” of the walk. She undertook the journey for pleasure, not for the sake of setting a record. Plus, there can be no definitive route. It’s not as simple as keeping the coast on your left. How literally do you take this when paths come and go? Even if the path followed the coastline strictly, where is the “coast” anyway? It depends on dynamic factors including tides, ocean currents, times of year, weather and erosion – an infinitely complex matter. You realise that she is absolutely right to interpret the route the way she does.

She only suffers one blister on the entire trip and the book is refreshingly free of gripes about the pain of endurance. She does it for fun, and that cones across well.

Along the way she depicts an older and more innocent Britain – one without computers, GPS technology and mobile phones. On one occasion she has to call for some medical results (foot X-ray to rule out suspected fracture) and only had 10p to use in a phone box. Keen to hear about her walk, the radiographer is slow to get to the point and reveal the good news: “She had told me in the nick of time. The pips went, and we were cut off.” There must be generations now who have no idea what the pips even means.

I particularly liked the way she refuses to play the role others expect from her. By the time she completes the walk, returning to Brighton, she has become weary of retelling the same story endlessly and generally disappoints the press by not issuing the kinds of memorable statements they expect to hear.

Only one real criticism: the book would have greatly benefited from a map showing Helen’s route route. Amid the barrage of obscure place names, I found I was often looking up locations online to see how far she had travelled. That said, she does end with a day-by-day listing of each stretch she completed and a running tally of distances covered – in fact, a journey of 4,922 miles from the start of March 1986 to the end of January 1987.

26/03/19: Nicholson Baker – The Mezzanine (1988)


It was interesting to read this classic after working through much of the author’s other work. His first book, The Mezzanine is an astonishing achievement that slows down time to detail the events and – in particular – the thoughts that took place in a single office lunch break.

There are super-detailed analyses (with long digressive footnotes) on shoelaces, drinking straws and ice cube trays. Baker really gets inside the mundane reality of objects – almost down to the atomic level – and makes you see them afresh. He finds sensual pleasure in exploring the most ordinary and familiar things.

One brilliant section offers four reasons why you should feel less upset about the death of brain cells as you age. Another astounding passage describes the ways that “staplers have followed, lagging by about ten years, the broad changes we have witnessed in train locomotives and phonograph tonearms, both of which they resemble”.

Whether delighting in the joys of perforation or contemplating what people do while alone in lifts, this novel (which isn’t really a novel at all) amounts to a terrific rendering of consciousness.

22/03/19: Tony Hobbs – One Pair of Boots: Land’s End to John O’Groats (2000)


I was very keen to read about a journey from Land’s End to John O’Groats (a.k.a. the LeJoG), but this wasn’t quite the account I was hoping for. The author generally fails to inspire with his descriptions of the physical feat of undertaking the walk, which he completes slowly over nearly 15 weeks. Nor does he especially engage the reader with descriptions of people and places along the way, although it’s touching when he seems to make a friend called Nicky:

“She was tall, with a mop of thick light brown hair, spoke with a soft Devon accent, and was reading John Paul Sartre’s Nausea...In the dark we left the pub and walked the half mile to where Nicky was camped. She held a torch while I put up my tent, and then we looked at the stars, she pointing out the Plough and North Star.”

You wonder if he is somewhat smitten, although he misses the chance to use an obvious joke about carrying a torch.

His interlude aside, the book, like the journey itself, seems to lack passion and purpose. There’s a charity angle (£2 goes to the MS Society for every copy sold), but this is only mentioned when he’s close to finishing. It’s not presented as a motivating factor for his walk. He visits a lot of churches and takes a lot of wrong turns, but you don’t really learn how he feels about anything.

For a narrative like this to succeed, it cannot simply be a list of places trudged through, meals eaten and places camped at. It needs to do something with that information to give you a reason to invest your time in the story and experience it for yourself. He could have taken one aspect – such as the fact that he “consumed 285 pints of beer of 83 different varieties” – and framed the entire narrative around that. It could have worked so much better as Land’s End to John O’Groats in 285 Pints.

But despite all this, I grew to like the author and found myself wanting to get to the end to see him finish his journey – even if the huge achievement of his reaching that point fails to even warrant a new paragraph in the text. There’s something about the sheer ordinariness – the complete lack of pretension – that makes this book difficult to dislike.

13/03/19: Phoebe Smith – Extreme Sleeps: Adventures of a Wild Camper (2013)


This was free from the Totteridge & Whetstone book exchange – the wonderful “Leave one, take one” scheme run from the waiting room on the station platform.

Believing that you don’t need to travel far to find real wilderness, Phoebe Smith hikes to obscure and remote UK locations and then camps in them. Each chapter covers one such location and details what happened when she travelled and slept there. Sometimes it’s fascinating (camping beside the wreckage at the crash site of a World War II bomber) and sometimes it’s a little mundane and repetitious.

There are quite a few typos and sometimes the grammar doesn’t work. See, for example, this awkwardly dangling sentence: “Looking at the map, the River Liza which feeds the reservoir, should have been nearer to where I was standing.” This implies that the river is looking at the map. The commas are in the wrong places, too.

That said, Smith’s cheery and energetic writing bounces along. It's friendly and upbeat – an amiable read.

04/03/19: Deborah Levy – Hot Milk (2016)


“I was beginning to understand Ingrid Bauer. She was always pushing me to the edge in one way or another. My boundaries were made from sand so she reckoned she could push them over, and I let her. I gave my unspoken consent because I want to know what’s going to happen next, even if it’s not to my advantage. Am I self-destructive, or pathetically passive, or reckless, or just experimental, or am I a rigorous cultural anthropologist, or am I in love?”

I enjoyed The Cost of Living so much that I wanted to read more Deborah Levy. This Booker Prize-shortlisted novel features more of the same dry wit. And it has a similar “voice”.

Excellently plotted, it details what happens when anthropology student Sofia accompanies her mother from England to Spain for treatment at a specialist health clinic. In the sultry idyll of the hot beaches where jellyfish sting swimmers, Sofia begins two relationships – one with a man and one with a woman. As her mother’s mysterious ailment is explored by the enigmatic Mr. Gomez, Sofia reflects on her relationship with her mother and her place in the world.

It’s the best novel I’ve read for a long time. Deborah Levy weaves the threads together with such subtle humour and expanding richness that it’s a joy to read. Recurring motifs – the medusa jellyfish, an embroidered shirt, a taxidermy exhibit, the screensaver image on a broken laptop – resonate throughout and become increasingly laden with symbolic meaning. They combine to create something that feels mythically powerful.

26/02/19: Lauren Elder with Shirley Streshinsky – And I Alone Survived (1978)


Back cover: “Lauren Elder set out in a light aircraft in company with the pilot and his girlfriend. It was going to be a joyride, sightseeing over the mountainous splendour of the Sierra Nevada range. 

The Cessna hit the mountain fifteen feet from the crest. The joyride had turned into a nightmare. 

After a night of sub-zero temperatures Lauren was the only one of the three left alive.

She faced the terrifying prospect of climbing down to safety, wearing only a jacket and skirt and fashionable boots, down 8,000 feet of fearsome, precipitous mountain to the desert below...”

I love that reference to “fashionable boots”...

The opening pages are written like a racy novel, which added a certain distance for me: somehow it wasn’t very engaging. From the moment the plane hits the mountain ridge, the book becomes hugely compelling. After a frozen night huddled in the wreckage with no underwear and crammed in a tiny space with the one other survivor, she finds herself alone as her second companion dies from injuries and exposure. Sensing rescue was unlikely she begins the long climb down the snowy mountain, despite serious wounds and the onset of hallucinations. The account of her long trek to safety is interspersed with details of the rescue mission launched by her boyfriend.

The most fascinating sections of the book involve her describing how she felt during the ordeal: “From the moment I had lowered myself over the side of the crest early that morning I had been aware of a feeling of pure physical strength. But it was really more than that. It was strength tempered by balance, a kind of power that seemed to spring from some untapped well. It was as if I had been granted an unlimited supply of energy, and I was amazed and confounded by it.”

This energy – a sense of purpose and defiance – saves her life: “I had known the feeling before. I had it sometimes when I was surfing. I would catch a big wave and ride it on and on, sensing that I was part of the sea. I didn’t have to think or even make an effort. We just flowed together, my body responding without any command; And it happened to me at other times – the best times when I was jumping a horse. Then everything was so finely balanced that I knew I could do no wrong, that whatever move we made together was right. But I could not believe I that I had this feeling on a sheer granite cliff in a mountain wilderness.” 

She also comes to terms with death as being “neither dramatic nor even alarming”, simply something that “is”. It's impressive how wise and mature she is, and her will to live is inspiring: “I had also discovered, that spring day, that there is little that cannot be endured. Much of the time I had felt as if I’d been possessed of a special grace. That is all I could think to call it, grace. It was as if a transcendent power had been loosed in me as I made my way down that mountain. At times during the day I’d been filled with a peculiar sense of well-being, of elation. I had fallen out of the sky, had in the most primeval sense been lost in the wilderness, and it had not overwhelmed me. It had been, even, exhilarating.”

22/02/19: Deborah Levy – The Cost of Living (2018)


“The writing life is mostly about stamina. To get to the finishing line requires the writing to become more interesting than everyday life...”

This little hardback was free from the Totteridge & Whetstone book exchange – the wonderful “take one, leave one” scheme run from the waiting room on the station platform.

It’s a short, philosophical memoir about writing, the break-up of her marriage and the death of her mother. Levy writes beautifully, in clear, concise sentences. The structure seems abstract – rambling even – but then she loops back to certain individuals, themes and ideas and you realise how cleverly constructed it is.

A work of philosophy and gentle wit, she flits between playful and profound with graceful ease.

19/02/19: Karl Pilkington – An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington (2010)


The tie-in book of the first Sky TV series of the same name. Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant send their friend Karl to witness the Wonders of the World, and Karl – a man who dislikes travel and is well out of his “comfort zone” – responds to these alien experiences in his usual deadpan manner.

Written down, it’s considerably less funny. You can still enjoy Karl’s unique slant on things, but it seems one-dimensional without hearing his voice (so familiar from podcasts and radio shows) and seeing his face. Another disappointment is that the little drawings are not by Karl, but by an illustrator and made to look as if they are Pilkington doodles. Despite some funny sentences, the whole book has a child-like quality that makes it oddly unsatisfying.

It’s undoubtedly lightweight, but there’s still a certain pleasure to be had in reading about these adventures – however flimsy. Despite his many prejudices, Karl mostly emerges as a kind and likeable character. You wouldn’t necessarily want to travel with him, though.

18/02/19: Deborah Scaling Kiley and Meg Noonan – Albatross: The True Story of a Woman’s Survival at Sea (1994)


“I opened my eyes and felt the sting of salt water. I waited for my vision to clear. When it did, my stomach contracted. A cold sword of fear stabbed through me. I didn’t believe what I was seeing. I didn’t want to believe it. Now I knew what had been bumping Mark’s legs. Sharks. There were sharks everywhere. Dozens, no, hundreds of them – as far as I could see. Some were so close I could see the membrane hooding their lifeless, clouded eyes. Others were just slow-moving angular shadows spiralling into the depths.”

Another raft-survival memoir, which I was inspired to read following the accounts of Steven Callahan and Maurice and Maralyn Bailey. The blurb on the dust jacket pretty much tells you everything:

“From the moment Debbie Scaling left Southwest Harbour in Maine she had misgivings about both the crew and the 58-foot Boothbay Challenger yacht. Yet, although she was an experienced sailor, she ignored her instincts and embarked on the voyage to Florida to deliver the boat – the aptly named Trashman – to its owner. They never made it.

Halfway through their voyage, the Trashman sank in a ferocious storm. Debbie and her four crew-mates were left on a tiny rubber dinghy in the middle of a raging ocean. They spent the first night in the water, under the upside-down inflatable, trying to keep warm. In the morning they discovered the water was infested with sharks. Back in the dinghy they covered themselves with seaweed for warmth – but were bitten by the creatures in it. They were attacked by birds, developed hideous sores, and with no food, no water, and inadequate clothing they began to hallucinate. Driven beyond endurance, two of the crew drank seawater and, little by little, went mad. With the others too weak to stop them they swam off and didn’t survive. The skipper’s girlfriend also died – of exposure and gangrene.

After days of this living nightmare, and resigned to their fate at the mercy of the sea Debbie and her only surviving crewmate, Brad, were rescued by a Russian ship.”

It’s a fairly harrowing read, not least because the incompetent “crew” (including two men with drink problems) are constantly at each other’s throats. There’s little unity, making a scary situation even more terrifying: “Then Meg was shouting at John again and John was shouting back and Mark was ranting and I felt myself drowning in the sound of their voices, the whining, the shouting, the crying, the complaining. Why couldn’t everyone just be quiet? I saw John kick Meg. He was doing it on purpose. She wailed and he kicked her again.”

The horror doesn’t end with the rescue. Deborah endures a decade of post-traumatic stress disorder and battles bulimia and depression as she struggles to comprehend what happened. She also files a lawsuit against the US coastguard, who she considers negligent. Inexplicably, the official reports claimed that the Trashman had arrived safely at its destination.

With marriage, motherhood, the writing of this book and a return to sailing she eventually starts to move on with her life. An extremely gripping story, it makes for a sobering read.

Postscript: it’s heartbreaking to learn that the tragedy continued. Debbie’s marriage ended. Her son John Coleman Kiley IV died by drowning in 2009, aged just 23. And Debbie herself died in 2012, aged 54.

“...the ocean us like a snarling dog,” she writes at one point; “it can sense when you are afraid.”

13/02/19: Stuart Stevens – Malaria Dreams: An African Adventure (1989)


“You would have to be out of your mind to go anywhere with Stuart Stevens, but when the travel is only mental, he is the perfect companion: brave, funny and ever-watchful” – Martin Amis

Amusing account of the author’s attempt to cross Africa by car, from Bangui in the Central African Republic to Algiers. His does this with his glamorous, remarkably laid-back companion Anne. Intriguingly, the exact nature of the pair’s relationship – not romantic – is never explained.

Their efforts are continually thwarted by local corruption, a lack of roads, failing equipment and poor living conditions. It’s to his great credit that Stevens finds so much humour in a situation that continually veers between maddening, desperate and scary.

According to the book blurb, Cameroon, Chad, Niger and Mali, all of which he drives through, are “bizarre places where the vestiges of colonial folly, idiosyncratic enterprise, bribery and endless, pointless bureaucracy are the stuff of life”. Indeed, the frustrations of bureaucracy are such that the actual road journey only begins halfway through the book – and even then not in his friend’s Land Rover, as planned, but in a completely different vehicle. The section detailing the Toyota Land Cruiser breaking down during their attempt to cross the Sahara is genuinely hair-raising. It had to be locked into third gear and then driven in a continuous session without stopping, whatever the terrain.

It’s a miracle that they survived to tell the tale.

05/02/19: Maurice and Maralyn Bailey – 117 Days Adrift (1974)


M and M hit a sperm whale and their boat sinks off the Galápagos Islands. They drift for nearly four months in their raft and dinghy, surviving on turtle meat and raw fish.

This book lacks the lucid poetry and existential insights of Steven Callahan’s Adrift: Seventy-Six Days Lost at Sea (1986). However, it does have a special charm of its own. Alternating between narrations of husband and wife, the presence of not just a second person but a spouse gives their account a special “domestic” dynamic. They keep each other going, whether it’s mutual support in killing sea creatures or – in the early days of the ordeal – reading out loud to each other and improvising games of dominoes and cards with paper to pass the time (“We spent many hours during the next few weeks playing whist”).

The rather matter-of-fact way its written means that the book is surprisingly low on drama. Some important details are almost glossed over: toilet arrangements are not mentioned until page 95.

“In some weird and detached way we found peace in our complete and compulsory isolation. We talked without the encumbrances of modern living; we explored the hidden depths of each other’s character, we threw away the trappings of so called civilization and reverted to a simple prehistoric way of life. We had our ‘lair’, the raft, and only emerged to hunt our food. Life was simple, but not secure.”

While they revert to a primitive state, it’s remarkable that there seems to have been very little tension between the couple: “We were now existing at a primeval level where the layers of civilization had been stripped away from us. We found our bodily functions unembarrassing and it was surprisingly easy to stay clean. We would wash in sea water, clean our teeth and comb our hair, and in my case, my beard. It was usually far too cold to sit out in the rain and we did not often take advantage of the frequent downpours for bathing.

They lose weight and suffer medical problems, but manage to fish and collect rainwater at such a rate that they mostly avoid serious physical and mental harm. They are eventually saved by a Korean fishing boat – the eighth ship they saw.

Appendices include thoughts on the design of the raft and dinghy, medical evaluation of the couple by Surgeon Captain John Duncan Walters and a list of all the boats that didn’t stop to save them.

01/02/19: Cheryl Strayed – Wild: A Journey from Lost to Found (2012)


“Foot speed was a profoundly different way of moving through the world than my normal modes of travel. Miles weren’t things that blazed dully past. They were long, intimate straggles of weeds and clumps of dirt, blades of grass and flowers that bent in the wind, trees that lumbered and screeched. They were the sound of my breath and my feet hitting the trail one step at a time and the click of my ski pole. The PCT had taught me what a mile was. I was humble before each and every one.”

When her mother dies and her personal life unravels (one-night stands, divorce, heroin), Cheryl Strayed decides to walk the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) from Mohave, California, to the Bridge of the Gods on the border of Oregon and Washington. Even with sections of the route being missed, it ends up being a journey of 1,100 miles.

Along the way she evades rattlesnakes and bears, struggling through parched deserts and deep snow. She has excruciating foot pain and loses toenails, but meets kindly strangers, makes some hiking friends and starts to come to terms with her past.

It’s hugely readable. The film made in 2014 is a fairly faithful adaptation of this text, but suffers from condensing such a detailed narrative into a couple of hours and somehow seemed a more disturbing tale overall. It’s also harder for a film to show an emotional transformation, which is perhaps the real subject of Wild.

The book is far more varied in tone, with plenty of gentle humour amid the soul-searching and recollection. You end up admiring her spirit and determination. And if you like walking, as I do, it leaves you yearning to undertake your own epic journey.

26/01/19: Richard Mabey – The Unofficial Countryside (1973)


Now regarded as a pioneering classic of psychogeography, but written before such a thing was fashionable, The Unofficial Countryside remains a luminous and visionary work.

It was revolutionary at the time of first publication for the way it refused to accept the standard definitions of “urban” and “rural”. Mabey found and observed nature in the marginal spaces defying categorisation between the two. This wonderful book celebrates the wildlife that others overlook or condemn, and expands at length on the notion that “a weed is just a flower in the wrong place”. His outlook is liberating. There’s a sort of poetry about his observations that – as Iain Sinclair notes in his introduction to this beautiful edition created by Little Toller Books – isn't far from J.G. Ballard’s ability to see possibilities in ugly and abandoned spaces: “...a sliver of land left over between two strictly rectangular factories, a disused car dump, the surrounds of an electricity substation. Nothing can be done with these patches. They are too small or misshapen to build on, too expensive to landscape.” Ignored, they therefore “form some of the richest and most unpredictable habitats for wildlife to be found in urban areas”.

The book is a reassuring reminder of how resourceful life can be – what he calls nature’s “perennial opportunism and exuberance” – with birds and other small creatures often finding ingenious means to sustain their threatened communities.

There are musings on the life-giving properties of abandoned gravel pits and the English canal system. Plus, there are brilliant passages on the ingenuity of urban pigeons and the demonisation of foxes: “Our attitudes towards urban wildlife, our readiness to tolerate pests, is conditioned more than anything else by whether the creature in question will eat, both literally and metaphorically, out of our hands. No doubt foxes would be regarded as acceptable if they came sweetly, by day, to lap milk from doorstep saucers. Being lone wolves, midnight ramblers, prowlers and looters, they are branded as outlaws. It is homo sapien’s old chauvinism again: we are the stewards; animals should live by our rules, not those of the jungle. It’s not one of our most consistent attitudes.”

Mabey despairs at the sorry state of our parks, but marvels at the urban/rural idyll that is Hampstead Heath. It’s delightful to read of how he looked for a rare orchid on a golf course: “I quartered the slope carefully, eyes close to my feet, and going down on hands and knees in the more promising patches...I didn’t notice whether in fact it was the ninth and final green where I struck lucky, but my patience was running out and it was certainly the last one I was going to play. But there, nestling under a foot-tall birch shrub, I spied a couple of skulking frogs. I crawled about the area, expecting a horrified ‘fore’ to ring in my ears at any second, and found a couple of dozen plants growing in an area not more than two yards square.”

I particularly admire the way the book is organised, moving fluidly between topics without you really noticing. It’s a more satisfying approach than if it had been rigidly structured into sections.

The author largely avoids the topic of insects: “I think we may be lucky that insects are too small and remote ever to have entered our understanding in the way that birds and flowers have. If we saw their lives for what they really are I think it might be too much for us to bear.” He also writes surprisingly little about the vast volume and ubiquity of litter spoiling wild land everywhere, but then this is a problem that has grown since the book’s original publication. There was far less plastic debris in our midst in 1973 than there is today.

Whether he’s looking for wading birds at sewage farms or admiring the natural riches at landfill sites, the book is a joy to read because of his gentle wit and empathy for all living things. It’s a real pleasure to see the world through his eyes.

20/01/19: Anne Scott – 18 Bookshops (2011)


I love books and I love bookshops, so it’s difficult to say why this account of 18 “significant” bookshops seems so uninvolving. Perhaps it’s the dry way the author relates history, or maybe it’s just that her writing lacks character. Either way, I found myself wondering why I was reading about the ephemeral aspects of books rather than actually spending time reading something life-enriching. There were quite a few typos, too. It also annoyed me that this edition is printed without page numbers. It seems over-designed in general – intended to be a beautiful object, no doubt – but its usefulness is diminished as a result.

Trivia: Anne Scott is the mother of Mike Scott of The Waterboys.

16/01/19: Steven Callahan – Adrift: Seventy-Six Days Lost at Sea (1986)


“Sailors may be struck down at any time, in calm or in storm, but the sea does not do it for hate or spite. She has no wrath to vent. Nor does she have a hand of kindness to extend. She is merely there, immense, powerful, and indifferent. I do not resent her indifference, or my comparative insignificance. Indeed, it is one of the main reasons I like to sail: the sea makes the insignificance of my own small self and of all humanity so poignant.”

While sailing from the Canary Islands in January 1982, Steven Callahan’s ship, Napoleon Solo, was hit by something and swiftly began to sank. Callahan launched his inflatable life raft and had a few minutes to retrieve emergency supplies from his boat before it went down. This raft would become his home for 76 days, drifting 1,800 nautical miles.

He suffered hunger, thirst and countless other medical problems but survived by extraordinary resourcefulness. When he was eventually found by three sailors off Guadeloupe, he had lost 44 lb and was unable to walk. 

The book is both poetic and philosophical. He has a real way with words:

“The bag is freed but seems to weigh as much as the collected sins of the world.”

“I arise for a gulp of air. There is none. In that moment I feel as though the last breath in the galaxy has been breathed by someone else.”

“I dive into the raft with the knife clenched in my teeth, buccaneer style, noticing that the movie camera mounted on the aft pulpit has been turned on. Its red eye winks at me. Who is directing this film? He isn’t much on lighting but his flair for the dramatic is impressive.”

There is indeed plenty of drama, from shark attacks to accidentally puncturing his raft and having to constantly pump air into it. He sees nine ships but none of them see him – or if they do, they don’t stop to help. He is utterly alone at sea (“That torn blue desert”) with only his intelligence and unbreakable spirit. 

Surprisingly, some of the most interesting passages are those in which he details the minutiae of his survival equipment – the spear gun with which he catches fish, a still with which he desalinates water and so on. These items are illustrated by his own sketches. His technical skill is remarkable and this is clearly one of the things that saved him. 

You can tell he has the psychology of a survivor because of the way he adapts his thinking to the extremes of the situation:

“ln these moments of peace, deprivation seems a strange sort of gift. I find food in a couple hours of fishing each day, and I seek shelter in a rubber tent. How unnecessarily complicated my past life seems. For the first time, I clearly see a vast difference between human needs and human wants. Before this voyage, I always had what I needed – food, shelter, clothing, and companionship – yet I was often dissatisfied when I didn’t get everything I wanted, when people didn’t meet my expectations, when a goal was thwarted, or when I couldn’t acquire some material goody. My plight has given me a strange kind of wealth, the most important kind. I value each moment that is not spent in pain, desperation, hunger, thirst, or loneliness. Even here, there is richness all around me. As I look out of the raft, I see God’s face in the smooth waves, His grace in the dorado’s swim, feel His breath against my cheek as it sweeps down from the sky. I see that all of creation is made in His image. Yet despite His constant company, I need more. I need more than food and drink. I need to feel the company of other human spirits.”

Moments of occasional euphoria aside, it’s mostly a horribly painful and bleak experience. See day 71, in his final week of solitude: 

“Maybe I am the Flying Dutchman, doomed to sail the seas forever and never rest again, to watch my own body rot and my equipment deteriorate. I am in an infinite vortex of horror, whirling deeper and deeper. Thinking of what I will do when it is all over is a bad joke. It will never be over. It is worse than death. If I were to search the most heinous parts of my mind to create a vision of a real hell, this would be the scene, exactly.”

And yet he does survive. It’s hugely inspiring.

11/01/19: Dion Leonard with Craig Borlase – Finding Gobi: The True Story of a Little Dog and an Incredible Journey (2017)


I picked this up at the “donate one, take one” book stall in Totteridge & Whetstone tube station.

Dion is an ultramarathon runner. While racing in an event in the Gobi Desert, he is “adopted” by a small dog who runs nearly 80 miles of the way with him. Before leaving China to return home to Edinburgh, the smitten Dion decides that he will bring Gobi back to live with him. A crowdfunding page is set up to pay for this (importing a pet is a complex process), but Gobi goes missing in the streets and Dion returns to China to help look for her.

He is eventually reunited with the dog, of course, but there are many struggles before they can come home and live happily ever after. He is followed by sinister men in suits, for example, and has to live in a state of paranoid seclusion.

Inevitably, this becomes a heartwarming tale about man’s best friend and how rescuing a dog “healed wounds I didn’t know were within me”. The book is slightly diminished by occasionally drifting into self-help territory, making some fairly obvious statements about personal belief and overcoming failure. Perhaps there wasn’t enough to say about the dog to fill 254 pages. And although it’s a device to set the scene and provide an emotional/psychological context (father died young, turned out not to be real father), I could have done without the childhood recollections – how much did we really need to know of Dion’s youth? – which risk turning this into a “misery memoir”.

On the plus side, Finding Gobi benefits from details of running a 155-mile ultramarathon. His accounts of the extremes of the race and the performance of the runners in dangerously scorching desert conditions are probably the best part of the book.

07/01/19: Joe Simpson – Touching the Void (1988)


This remarkable and moving memoir details Joe Simpson’s 1985 climb of the 6,344-metre Siula Grande in the Andes. He was accompanied by his friend Simon Yates, whose far briefer account is also represented here with italics interspersed between sections of Simpson’s narrative.

The pair became the first to ever reach the summit, but were unprepared for the extremes it offered. Simpson broke his leg on the descent and – despite Yates heroically winching him down the slopes in incredibly dangerous conditions – plummeted off a cliff and was left dangling. Fearing Simpson dead or doomed and certain that he was about to plummet himself, Yates considered he had no choice but to cut the rope...

The book tells the astonishing and unlikely story of how both men survived. Simpson lost a third of his body weight during the ordeal and was close to death at the point he finally made it back to base camp after dragging himself and his smashed leg back across crevasses, glacier ice and boulders.

Touching the Void is fascinating on so many levels. Simpson vividly articulates the absurd degree of human suffering he endured to stay alive. He also probes deeper questions about life, death and consciousness, all of which he was brought into close proximity with. His relationship with Yates is also key. He immediately and lastingly “forgave” him for giving up on his survival – even dedicating the book to him “for a debt I can never repay” – but Yates was nevertheless demonised as “the man who cut the rope”.

In the 2003 film adaptation of Touching the Void, Simpson and Yates both speak direct to camera about their experiences. It’s sad that the passing of time and the fame/notoriety of the events seem to have permanently damaged their strained relationship. But the film remains the perfect complement to the book, with different insights gained by the perspective of those passing years. Whichever way the story is told, it’s emotional and unforgettable.

03/01/19: Raynor Winn – The Salt Path (2018)


Raynor Winn and her husband “Moth” have financial and legal problems that cause them to lose their home. Moth then receives a diagnosis for terminal brain disease. With no money, nowhere to live and seemingly no future, the couple decide to walk England’s South West Coastal Path. They do this in two sections, with a few months in between, and cover all but 40 of the 630 miles.

The story of that walk works as an amiable travel book, but there’s so much more to it. Living on the outsides of society, they encounter prejudice and fear whenever anyone hears about their situation. Often perfectly friendly members of the public recoil from them when they discover that the hiking couple are homeless, with the “h” word itself seeming to carry a lot of stigma.

There’s some pretty writing about nature and wildlife and there are quite a few laughs (or smiles, at least) – such as a running joke about Moth being mistaken for Simon Armitage, who was walking the same route.

There’s obviously a tragic element, too. Moth’s wellbeing and longer-term options are always in doubt. Paradoxically, the extremes of the walk seem to improve his health, but the days beyond the walk remain a big unknown.

A few passages of worldly wisdom and philosophising occasionally seem overbaked until you consider what the couple have been through.

It’s an entertaining, moving and oddly gripping read.

26/12/18: Tim Parks – Rapids (2005)


Fascinating novel that keeps you guessing. The plot details the relationships between a bunch of holidaying kayakers and their instructors Clive (an environmental activist) and Michaela (his emotionally fragile girlfriend). You sense immediately that the danger of the rapids they ride will mirror the danger of the relationships that are developing within the “community experience”.

Tim Parks carefully weaves together several narratives and successfully increases the tension by using character to drive drama. Menace and threat are always imminent. It is to the author’s credit, however, that the book does not end the way you think it will. Instead, it continues in an almost surreal manner.

One gripe: there are a few typos. Twice within two pages there were misplaced apostrophes (“you’re hand’s bleeding” and “you’re head filling with blood”). Was it not proof-read?

That aside, it’s his best novel since Europa. It stays with you.

20/12/18: Sebastian Junger – The Perfect Storm: A True Story of Men Against the Sea (1997)


Turned into a successful film starring George Clooney, The Perfect Storm details the drama of the Andrea Gail, a Massachusetts swordfishing boat that was caught in a storm of vast proportions in 1991.

The biggest challenge to the author is that none of the crew survived to tell their stories. I was curious to see how he would piece together the narrative without the help of testimonies from those who were there. He does this using a variety of sources. There’s plenty of detail on shipping lore and ways of life in the small town of Gloucester, Massachusetts. Radio reports to other ships and observations on weather patterns from other craft in the vicinity help build the picture. Plus he has interviewed rescue workers and survivors from other dramas in the same once-in-a-lifetime event, along with affected families and colleagues.

It’s so much richer and fuller than the film, and yet the film did its best to cram in what it could and was surprisingly faithful to the text. But whereas the book can take several pages to explain how – for example – rescue swimmers jump into the sea and have a strong chance of survival, in the film this looks reckless and even unbelievable. Likewise, the author can take the time to explain how ships float – or don’t – and goes into detail on the science of sinking. Later he tackles the science of drowning – what actually happens in those last few seconds. Disturbing stuff.

But overall it’s the humanity of the book that makes it special. Junger has a real sense of the lives at stake and he’s sensitive to the many losses. It’s never merely an adventure yarn.

18/12/18: Iain Broome – A Is for Angelica (2012)


A novel about a man who spies on his neighbours and keeps files on their activities. We learn that he does this to help cope with a personal crisis: his wife has had a stroke, he is her sole carer and – as a result of his grief – he is keeping this secret from his friends and family.

The premise is intriguing, but elements of the plot never have the ring of truth about them so the characters and their motivations rarely convince. Even the dog seems unbelievable. Sometimes you’re not sure if a scene is meant to be funny or slightly disturbing. There’s a “suburban whimsy” aspect that could have been mined for comedy but which doesn’t really work.

But, surprisingly, as the book progressed and I continued reading I found myself becoming more and more engrossed in the peculiar story. You do want to find out how it will end. Yet ultimately it articulates such a bleak scenario that you’re left wondering why the author felt the need to share this with the world.

30/11/18: Will Self – Junk Mail (1995)


Excellent anthology of essays, interviews and other ephemera. In the introduction, Self explains that  the book was originally intended to focus on drugs. (At one point the title was to be Junk Male.) Even though that focus changed, drugs are the subject of the first quarter of the collection and remain a major theme throughout. Articles include a review of William S. Burroughs’ collected letters, a visit to a crack den and a visit to the drug-rehabilitation centre at Downview prison in Surrey. He watches David Cronenberg’s film of William Burroughs’ Naked Lunch with members of an Oxford drug clinic and offers assorted thoughts on English motorways, Nicholson Baker and the wit of Woody Allen. There are also thought-provoking essays on the IRA, Satanic abuse, cryogenics and Englishness and English culture.

There are insightful interviews with J.G. Ballard and Martin Amis. Refreshingly, Self’s intelligence is such that he understands those authors’ work well enough to instigate meaningful conversations that shed light on their writing and his own. There’s also an entertaining piece in which he meets Bret Easton Ellis and is disappointed to find him a thoroughly likeable, decent kind of guy.

All it lacks is an index.

26/11/18: Howard Jacobson – Pussy (2017)


Prince Fracassus, heir a fictional Republic named Urbs-Ludus, is a thinly veiled Donald Trump and this short novel parodies the US president’s rise to power. It takes you from his birth to election night. Unsurprisingly, Jacobson paints him as a hateful person without a single redeeming feature. He’s a spoiled, whining bully who abuses his power and leaves a trail of destruction in his wake.

The most interesting passages are the ones dealing with his childhood and various failed attempts to educate him:

“Words! Until now he had whimpered, exclaimed, ejaculated, and whatever he had wanted had come to him on a golden platter amid praise and plaudits. So why, he wondered – or would have wondered had he possessed the words to wonder with – the necessity for change? The enormity of the shock, for any child, of having to go from pointing to naming cannot be exaggerated. But for Fracassus, for whom to wish was to be given, it was as catastrophic as birth. To have to find a word to supply a need is to admit the difference between the world and you. Fracassus knew of no such difference. The world had been his, to eat, to tear, to kick. He hadn’t had to name it. The world was him. Fracassus.”

Inevitably, Fracassus finds his outlet in Twitter: “...Twitter didn’t entail any of the tedious conversational niceties he feared. Twitter was an assertion of the tweeter’s will, full stop. It imposed no obligation to listen or respond.”

While Jacobson makes some good points, the book ultimately fails because its subject is already way beyond satire. There’s nothing you can say or do about Trump that makes him any less dangerous or any easier to comprehend. Also, this could have been a funny book but somehow isn’t. Maybe the very real menace is just too close and too raw to work as comedy. Let’s hope that we all last long enough to be able to look back on these times and laugh.

22/11/18: Vera Caspary – Laura (1943)


A hardboiled, noir-ish thriller. Detective Mark McPherson investigates what he considers to be the murder of Laura Hunt by looking into the motivations of the various men who loved her. But inevitably, nothing is as it seems and a major plot twist turns this into a different kind of crime. Interesting shifts of narration keep you guessing as three different men in love with Laura all reveal hidden secrets. It’s difficult to say more without giving away what happens. This is a highly readable novel, with emotional insights and a depth of character that isn’t always found in this kind of fiction. It’s very clever the way the story is told from different perspectives, allowing the reader to accumulate knowledge without ever quite piecing it all together. Laura was made into a film in 1944 starring Gene Tierney, Dana Andrews, Clifton Webb and Vincent Price.

01/11/18: Jez Butterworth – Jerusalem (2009)


This sad and funny state-of-England play offers a snapshot of the life of Johnny “Rooster” Byron, who lives as a small-town drug dealer and petty crook in a caravan in the woods. After years of living on the edge of the law, the net is tightening around him. A local thug is after him and he’s about to be evicted by the council. Meanwhile, a bunch of friends and hangers-on drift in and out of his orbit – partly to score drugs and partly because Johnny’s charisma acts as a magnet for local outcasts and losers. The play makes some fairly damning points about social conformity and where the country is heading.

30/10/18: Matthew De Abaitua – Self & I: A Memoir of Literary Ambition (2018)


Fascinating. Matthew De Abaitua worked as Will Self’s live-in assistant in a remote Suffolk cottage. Self acts as an inspiration and sort of mentor for the author’s own literary aspirations. The memoir flits between the time in the cottage (much of it spent alone while Self was travelling) and other episodes from his life. It’s a hybrid of autobiography, literary criticism and social history – a real window into how different life was in the 1990s, the last era before the dominance of the internet.

20/10/18: Mark Mason – Walk the Lines: The London Underground, Overground (2011)

Mark Mason sets out to walk every tube line overground, passing all 269 stations from Acton Town to Woodside Park. It’s a good idea for a book and one that works some of the time. I read this while commuting on the tube and several times found myself at or near the station he was passing. He varies things a little by walking one line at night (Jubilee) and one in heavy snow (Metropolitan). He walks part of the Northern Line with Geoff Nicholson (author of The Lost Art of Walking) and part of the Metropolitan Line with Bill Drummond. Like Will Self, he also walks to Heathrow Airport – but unlike Self, he doesn’t then catch a plane and walk into New York.

If there’s a criticism, it’s that Mason writes too little about the physical and psychological experiences of walking. I want to hear about the conceptualisation, the effort, the feats of endurance, the blisters, the mental fatigue, the moments of joy and despair and what it means to him to walk so far. Instead, while he touches on these things briefly, it often reads like a collection of facts and trivia stitched together around the ‘tube walking’ device – not necessarily a bad thing in itself, but not quite the book it could have been. Even when he walks the Circle Line as a pub crawl with a friend, stopping for a drink at a pub corresponding to every station, he doesn't address the questions you might expect to have been answered. How drunk was he? How did he feel the next day? Did he really fall out with his companion on the walk (as is hinted)? And how much did all those drinks cost

Ultimately, it’s great for facts. I learned that the longest line is the Central (46 miles), which includes the longest journey with no change (West Ruislip to Epping) and the least-used station on the network (Roding Valley). The District Line has most stations, with 60. The most vowels used in a station name (five) is shared by Mansion House and South Ealing. The longest tunnel is on the Northern Line: Morden to East Finchley, Bank branch), at 17.3 miles. The deepest station is Hampstead (192 feet) and the highest point above ground is the Dollis Brook viaduct near Mill Hill East (58 feet).  The only line that connects with all the others is the Jubilee, which also is the line that crosses the Thames the most times (four).